Culture is a funny thing. In America, if I am feeling fat or ugly, I know I can count on my best girl friends to tell me I look great, even if I don't. I know that if I happen to gain a few extra pounds or experience a breakout, my fellow Americans will think twice before they point it out to me.
But Guyana is different. I suppose they appreciate honesty, rather than flattery. In case you wanted to go to meeting and forget you look less than stellar, you will be disappointed. One must have thick skin. Your acne will be pointed out as boils and if you gain a few extra pounds, you will be called fat. A few weeks ago I went door-to-door with some sisters. Over and over again, I was told I looked tired. The worst thing was that I wasn't tired at all. I told them this and still I was told I was tired. I gave in, “Ok, I must be tired.”
Last night, having a bit of a cold, I went to meeting, knowing that I don't look or sound my best. I'm sure just out of concern, the friends want to express sympathy over my less than beautiful appearance. One sister, said “I noticed you look sleepy.” I saw her again this morning and she reminded me that last night I looked so sleepy. One brother said, “Your voice is hoarse. But you know, it sort of fits your character. You know cause you're a bit funny.” I really don't know how to take that one. My voice is almost gone because I'm sick and that somehow fits my personality. The all time best comment, though, I can't attribute to my cold. It goes like this, “You're getting fat. I guess the Indian and Guyanese food is treating you well.”
What have I learned from all this? One culture is not better than the other. They're just different. Some actually like to be called fat. And maybe some think that if they point out how you look, they are telling you they care. I must forget my previous notions to become offended and learn to say, “Thank you” before I run home to burn a few calories and put some cucumbers on my eyes.
I hope to be a better person after this. But, if I came home and something like, “You're fat” or “Why would you wear that color?” or “What's wrong with your face?”, please just remember where I've been. It just means I care.
